Great White Was FUCKING ON!!!!!!!1

OMG, it’s TheAndySan back from the Great White cancer benefit concert.

The first band up was teays vein. I’ve never heard of them, but they were pretty darn good. The drummer was better than all of them combined and totally outshined them. The vocalist was excellent. The bass player was-a rockin’. The guitarist was…meh. He had 2 bitchin’ Paul Reed Smiths, but he was really low-key. After they were done, we all met them, Jon bought their CD, we all got temporary tattoos of their logo, and chatted for a bit.

After what seemed like forever, Great White got on the stage and they were FUCKIN’ ON!!!1 I mean from start to finish, FLAWLESS!! Backing up a bit, before the doors even opened, we hung out with this very nice couple from Cincinnati. They hooked us up the fat. At the end of the show, we got autographed guitar picks, autographed drumsticks, used guitar picks, and the setlist. Fuckin’ A!!! Oh yeah, and I got the last pick of the night. That’s right, be jealous.

OMG, I’m so fuckin’ psyched man!!!1 Well, I’m gonna get off and eat something before I go to bed. Thank-you and good-night!

TheAndySan

P.S: It’s been 1,516 days since I had a website. Also, I’ve finally finalized my AdSense so I can receive payments now. Sv33t! As of tonight, I’m up to almost $90. That’s in-freaking-sane!!!1 Thanks to everyone who made that possible!!!

Whatcha Gonna Do When Eriopolis Runs Wild On j00?!!!1

Mornin’, it’s TheAndySan hurr with some awesome news.

Eriopolis has qualified for regionals in Magic: The Gathering. Right now, my boy E-Dub is in Columbus taking on the best in Ohio. I’m so fucking proud of him, even if he comes home with a big goose egg for victories!! We’re all rooting for you E!!!1

Lately, I’ve been hooked on When The Sun Sleeps by Underoath. I don’t like the screaming at all, but the actual singing parts are totally worth enduring the screams. Give it a whirl on the ol’ dusty CD player!

In other news, I’m gonna be seeing Great White tonight at their cancer benefit concert. I’m totally stoked for this, guys!!

Also in other news, I’ve created Eights and Aces MySpace page. I’ll be in charge of it so when they start doing live shows, I’ll put up videos as well as songs. Check it out at http://www.myspace.com/eightsandaces!!

I seriously can’t wait until I get my external hard drive up and running again. Those data recovery services are f’n expensive though. However, considering how much money I’m pulling in with this site, it might not be too much longer til it’s fixed. Data Recovery: I Needs It.

Well, I’m gonna watch some To Love-Ru so I’ll post after the Great White concert. Later days!

TheAndySan

P.S: It’s been 1,515 days since I had a website.

I'm Tired Of All The Stupid Questions!!!1

“This isn’t scanning. What should I do?” “Credit. Credit. Sir, I’m paying by credit.” “Do you have to scan the pop?” “The (insert produce here) is (insert price here)” AHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!1

Ok, I feel a little better. Good evening, it’s TheAndySan here to rock and roll the place.

Today at work, I seriously almost walked out. Near the end of my shift, I was ringing up a very obese woman who was in one of those courtesy electric carts. She had left her regular cart beside my register before I got there. She was complaining about stuff and I just kinda brushed it off and rang her stuff through. Then, she remembered that she forgot to get eggs. Keep in mind that this is during the beginning of third shift when there’s pretty much no one around. I page for a stockman anyway, hoping that someone would come and help me out. Fortunately, someone did come. It was the assistant manager so I felt a little relieved. I continue to ring her stuff up and I get to the section of food that she comps. Comping is short for competitors’ prices. Basically, if you find someplace that has something for less than what Wal-Mart has, you can tell us what their price is and we’ll give it to you for that price. She’s angrily telling me the prices like I’m the sole reason she’s been in Wal-Mart for so long and why she’s buying so much. After all that, the assistant manager comes up with the eggs in hand. I scan ’em. No biggie. After she slides her food card (it’s like food stamps, but moAr elegant) and everything is all said and done, she notices that I forgot to comp the eggs. I do not recall her telling me to do that, and she’s even more upset. I’ve already had an aggravating day and she just pushed all the wrong buttons. I tried to compose myself, but I kept muttering “Fuck!” and rang in the next lady’s order, completely ignoring the previous customer. Since the lady I was ringing up was a fellow Associate, she could relate to my woes and I vented just a tad. In one of the best acts of karma, when the associate manager was helping the other lady with her groceries, she forgot her cane. He then said to her that everyone forgets sometimes. Whoo boy, that made my night! Cody, who was also working that night, said not to worry since she always bitches about everything.

In other, much better news, the band finally had the first practice since Jon joined track around March. Jon’s definitely improved, Joe’s about the same but less rusty, and I was kinda crappy. My timing was craptacular on some songs, and I didn’t sound very good I thought. But hey, that’s why you have practice; to shake off the rust and tighten the band up.

Well, I certainly feel better. I’m gonna play me some Halo 3 with my bros so I’ll see you guys later. Night!

TheAndySan

P.S: It’s been 1,514 days since I had a website.

Tact Is My Middle Name, But My Last Name Is Liss

Good afternoon, it’s TheAndySan hurr to tell you guys about 2 rad dudes who are a-freakin-mazing at guitar.

Their names are Housethegrate and Ashane. I first heard about Ashane through a site called OCReMix.org. I downloaded his song NinjaScape. At first, I thought it was too slow so I skipped by it for a long time. Then one day, I decided to listen to the whole thing and was floored. I was hooked. I had to have moAr. I eventually found a video of Ashane performing another song called Red Cap Assault. He put it up on YouTube for grate justice, and here it is:

I don’t remember exactly how I found out about Housethegrate, but chances are, I found him via his brother Ashane. Oh yeah, did I mention that they were brothers? I listened to some of his songs and thought they were ok. I really didn’t start to get into House’s music until I saw his video for La Hora es Tarde:

Then, I had to hunt down moAr videos! Here are some vids of him up on YouTube:

Waltz of the Dolls:

Light In The Fortress:

Guitarmageddon 2002:

Walk On Water:

As I’ve said before, House has released his own CD called Houseworks. I bought it and it’s still the best $10 I ever spent. You too can have House’s CD of Grateness. Go to http://www.housethegrate.com/?id=order and order that shit, suckas!!

Well, I’m gonna chill before I go to work so I’ll be going now. Later!

TheAndySan

P.S: It’s been 1,512 days since I had a website.

Ok, Fine. Here's An Actual Post.

Evenin’, it’s TheAndySan hurr with a double-post.

I guess Google Adsense doesn’t like boobs. It knocked off all my ads and put up PSA ads after my last post. In an attempt to get my ads back, I’m gonna do a post that has nothing to do with boobs. Nothing at all.

I worked my ass off today. First, I took a bike ride around town. I stopped in to Jim’s Computers to see if he could do data recovery for my hard drive. He said no and pretty much told me what I already knew: data recovery services are f’n expensive and it’s highly unlikely that Dusty will be able to fix my hard drive. Ughh, looks like I’ll have to bite the bullet and go through a data recovery service. It’ll be worth every penny though since I’ll get all of my files back.

After that, I sped around town to the music store before going to Wal-Mart. I tried out this unknown bass at the music store, and it sounded pretty good for only $150. If only I had moAr money… I also played on a piano for the first time in what seems like forever. Shane was working at the time and was really impressed with my speed. I think I’m still a bit rusty, but pretty darn good considering I haven’t played piano in a long while.

I’d like to say that I’m making a good amount of money with this site. Due to Adsense’s terms of service, I can’t reveal the exact numbers, but it’s over $30 so far. For this site being open less than two weeks, that’s quite impressive, I think. I would like to thank all of my viewers for showing me that I can make money without wearing a hat or a name tag (editor’s note: also due to Adsense’s terms of service, I cannot encourage you guys to click on my ads. I can humbly thank each and every one of you, though).

Well, I’m gonna hit the hay so I’ll see you guys later. Good-bye!

TheAndySan

P.S: It’s been 1,511 days since I had a website. Yes, I know it was in my other post, but my OCD demands that I put it in this one too.

Power Boob

Hey!

Do you wannabe

So stacked?

Try Power Boob.

Energy drinks for people who need

Gratuitous amounts of cleavage.

With all new flavors like

Jiggolate.

Jiggolate energy, it’s like adding jiggling

To an electrical storm.

Sound the alarm, you’re gonna be

Uncomfortably well-endowed.

What’s that?

You want strawberry?

Well how about

Braberry?

Made with lightning,

real lightning.

Sports (aaahhhhhh!) You’ll be good at them.

It’s an energy drink for women.

Womenergy.

These aren’t your momma’s fun bags,

these are energy bags.

Turbobags.

Science, boobage, science, boobage, electrolyes, turbolytes, powerlytes,

More lights than your body has room for.

You’ll be jiggling so fast, mother nature will be like, “Sloooooowwww dooowwwwnn.”

And you’ll be like, “Fuck you!” and slap her in the face with your

Energy cans.

You’ll have so much boobage,

boobage (aaaahhhhh!) just running all the time.

Boobie running, boobie lifting, boobie sweeping, boobie dating, boobie eating, boobie laughing, boobie spawning babies. You’ll have so many babies.

400 babies.

Give Jiggolate to your babies and they’ll be good at sports.

Make your babies jiggle

Abnormally fast.

They’ll jiggle as fast as Swedes. People will watch them running and think they’re Swedes. They’ll jiggle as fast as Swedes, against actual Swedes, and it’ll be a tie, and they’ll get deported back to Sweden.

Hey, go with the sure thing.

Don’t gamble on your boobs.

Snake eyes!

Try Power Boob, the drink that will make you (aaahhh!) sports (aaahhh!).

There it is, your moment of Zen. Good-night!

-TheAndySan

Hmm, I don’t like that hyphen. Let’s try this again:

There it is, your moment of Zen. Good-night!

TheAndySan

There we go. Much better.

P.S: It’s been 1,511 days since I had a website.

Boobs: To Look Or Not To Look

That is the question. Sup guys, it’s TheAndySan hurr.

Today at Wal-Mart, I was faced with a decision: whether or not I should look at girls’ boobs while I’m working. Being a red-blooded man, the obvious answer would be yes and look moAr. However, chicks have rights too so I feel that looking might constitute as sexual harassment. I came up with the following answer: I should definitely look at girls’ boobs whether I’m working or not. Now before you ladies decide to jump me in the parking lot, here are my reasons:

1 – It’s human nature. The human male is genetically programmed to find an ideal mate; one with large breasts for nursing children. Also, having large breasts shows that the female in question is healthy. Of course, there are limits to the size of the breasts. Having too large of breasts might indicate that the female is overweight and thus the children will be overweight.

2 – Girls like to show them off. Why do they show off the goods if they don’t want guys to look at their racks? It’s because, contrary to popular belief, girls WANT us to look at their boobs. It makes them feel sexually appealing and gives them attention.

So there you have it. I will continue to eyeball chicks’ dirty pillows wherever I am.

Well, I’m gonna go over to Eriopolis’ house so I’ll see you guys later. Bye now!

TheAndySan

P.S: It’s been 1,509 days since I had a website.

"マーティ"

“Ok, so what do the little squiggles in the title mean, Andy?!!” It’s Marty Friedman’s name in katakana, the Japanese alphabet used mostly for translating foreign words. Hello again, it’s TheAndySan here with 5 tips on how to be a better guitar player. These can be applicable to anyone who plays music, but for the intents and purposes of this article, it’s about guitar players.

Tip 1 – Stretch out your ears. No, I don’t mean physically stretching your ears (editor’s note: TheAndySan does not condone any acts of ear mutilation. Seriously, don’t do it!!), what I’m talking about is expanding what you listen to. I suggest delving into every kind of music that you can. Sure, not all of it will be good, but I’m positive you’ll find a player or two that tickles your fancy. For example, I’m not a fan of country music, but I love Vince Gill. I think he’s an amazing singer and one heck of a guitar player to boot! By expanding your musical library, you’ll be able to break out of ruts much easier than by just listening to the same-o same-o music, incorporate unique techniques such as pre-bending which will help to mold your personal playing style, and you’ll be more well-rounded as a musician. You’ll be surprised as to what kind of music your guitar heroes listen to. My main man Marty Friedman, for example, listened to KISS and The Ramones when he was first learning to play guitar. Later on, he got stuck in a rut and began to listen to foreign music. While he was living in Hawaii, he would listen to a Japanese radio station that would play enka music. I’ll try to explain enka music in the form of an analogy: Enka music is to Japan as country music is to America. It’s very ethnic-sounding. Ok, so my explanation is pretty sucky. Here’s a video clip of one of the greatest enka singers ever, Misora Hibari, performing “Ringo Oiwake”:

Tip 2 – Value those with more experience. You’ve probably seen them popping in the music store: the old geezers who can blaze on guitar. Some people would brush off guys like them since they’re “too old” and “uncool”. Not me, boy! I’m asking ’em questions, watching them play, and gauging their skills. I highly recommend that you take note from guys who have more experience, even if they are uncool old geezers lol!

Tip 3 – Join or start up a band. I know that several professional musicians started their first band when they only knew one chord (*coughTomMorellocough*). Even if none of you guys know how to play anything, being around other people will generate ideas and will better encourage those ideas to be exacuted.

Tip 4 – Don’t bite off more than you can chew. I’m not trying to sound discouraging, but what I mean is that, for example, if you try to master the solo for Tornado of Souls in its entirety and expect to play it spot-on by the end of the day, chances are you’ll fail miserably. However, if you break the solo into sections and begin mastering each section one at a time, you’ll have a much higher chance of not only playing the whole thing, but to play it flawlessly. Also, if you’re just learning to play guitar and you want to learn a very technically challenging song like Far Beyond The Sun by Yngwie Malmsteen, you’ll get very discouraged. Learn the basics like power chords and a couple scales before tackling a tough song like that. And, of course, break it into parts when you do sit down and learn it.

Tip 5 – Don’t cave in to peer pressure. One of the main reasons that popular music stagnates before “reinventing” itself is that it tries to “cookie-cutter” bands. In other words, they try to make every band sound the same in hopes of repeated financial success. It never quite works out, does it? Although he’s very VERY overused, Kurt Cobain is probably one of the best/worst examples of what the music industry can do to an artist. At that point in time, hair metal was the name of the game and anybody who wanted to be somebody slipped in to some spandex, slapped on some makeup, fluffed their hair and POOF! You were popular. After a while, people got tired of watching different guys doing the same old things that all the other bands were doing. Then along comes Kurt, a guy who was living in his car and applied to be a dog kennel cleaner right before the album Nevermind turned the music industry on its ear. Then came Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Alice In Chains, etc. And then people got sick of listening to grunge all the time. Now, it’s emo music. Every band is supposed to sound like Fall Out Boy because Fall Out Boy is a highly successful band. BOLLOCKS!! If bands would just be themselves, people would be able to relate to them and success will naturally come.

Well, I’m gonna get me some shuteye so I’ll see you guys later. Good-night!

TheAndySan

P.S: It’s been 1,508 days since I had a website.

The Shapes Of Things

Hey guys, it’s TheAndySan hurr again.

Man, I gotta tell ya, my traffic’s been rather crappy as of late. The highest amount of daily views since I’ve moved has been 33 views. “But Andy, maybe everybody is still going to your old site.” Nope. Ever since I had over 16,000 views, the daily views have been abysmal. I know that people know that my site’s moved because the views from the old site are pretty much ziltch. The views will probably pick up again once the search engines find me. But I digress…

In other news, school’s out so now the band can do stuff again. Ben’s band, Eights on Aces, might be doing stuff again, but their work schedules have been pretty heavy as of late. I seriously can’t wait to see them perform again! I also can’t wait for our own band to finally do something as well!!

Well, I’m gonna go so I’ll see you guys later. Bye!

TheAndySan

P.S: It’s been 1,507 days since I had a website. Also, yesterday was my one-week anniversary of TheAndySan.com opening up!!

Today's Episode: "Where's The Wal-Mart Spirit? Not At Wal-Mart!" Or "A Creative Promotional Experiment"

Good evening everybody, it’s TheAndySan hurr to discuss an ever-growing issue at Wal-Mart.

Today, I was talking to a cashier while I was doing pay station AGAIN, and a customer just started using the self-checkout. One of the managers yelled something at me and then I heard “yeah, that’s right!” in a real snotty way similar to how you’d say “yeah, you better run!” Grrrrrr… That pissed me off right there!! After that, I didn’t feel like working anymore and was half-tempted to just walk out. Now, don’t get me wrong, there was a customer checking out, but I did have a close eye on him and if another customer was checking out and/or the girl I was talking to got a customer, I would have gone back to pay station with no problem.

Anyway, after that settled down, I asked the girl I was talking to before. “Where’s the Wal-Mart spirit? It seems that everyone is their own island, but yet there are little cliques still around.” It felt kinda similar to high school, but different.

The way I see things, as long as you’re doing your job in a satisfactory manner, you can pretty much do whatever the hell you feel like doing, provided you abide by the rules and regulations of your workplace. For example, if you work at a restaurant, you probably shouldn’t eat a burger while you’re on the job. It’s been done a lot from what I’ve seen what I worked at restaurants, and even I’ve been guilty of some food sniping. According to my morals and beliefs, I don’t feel one bit guilty reading a magazine if I have nothing to do and no customers around. I love to read! It helps me keep up-to-date on whatever it is I’m reading about AND it presents new ideas and topics. Now if a customer needed help or something while I’m working at pay station, of course I should put down the magazine and help the customer out. That’s obvious! But I believe that you should be doing something to occupy your mind when you have nothing to do.

In conclusion, as a cashier, I feel that I’m very distant from my co-workers and I don’t feel that teamwork spirit that I did when I worked at a restaurant. Despite all my hang-ups with McDonald’s, when the rush was on and we had our best crew in the back, no other fast-food restaurant was faster. 8 double-cheeseburgers? Done! 4 double-quarter pounder meals? Here ya go! 50 chicken nuggets? Fuggeduboudit!!

Ok, is time for topic end, no more will I speak. I want you all to experience big-bang! Lol, Elektronik Supersonik reference!!

I’ve been thinking of various ways to promote my site and I’ve come up with a good idea. I will write the URL of my site on all of the paper money that I have. When I spend my money, it’ll be like giving someone my business card…kinda. I will number each of the bills and if any of you guys run across one, leave me a comment with the number of the bill so I can see who received it. I will begin Operation: AndyCash tomorrow.

Well, I’m gonna hit the sack so I’ll see you lil’ cupcakes later! Nighty-night!

TheAndySan

P.S: It’s been 1,506 days since I had a website.