Tonight’s Raw begins with Randy SnOrton in the ring talking about John Cena using his title shot at WrestleMania to face Orton at No Way Out instead. He then states that he wants Cena to sign a contract obligating him to face Orton at No Way Out. Cena, of course, comes out to sign the contract. Mark Henry, who Cena will face in an arm wrestling match later on, comes out and distracts Cena and Orton RKOs him. 5.5/10 (for a slightly more interesting opening segment, but just slightly)
Back from commercial, we see Orton and Henry being interviewed by Todd Grisham. Generic dialog is had by all. 3/10 (for some very generic dialog that, thankfully, was very short)
Then, Kelly Kelly and Mickie James go up against Victoria and Beth Pheonix. Here’s some interesting dialog that I’m pretty sure JR and King said:
JR – And Kelly Kelly going back to what brought her here in the first place…
King – Yeah a blowjob!
James got the win by Tornado DDTing Victoria. 6.5/10 (for a good, but too short, women’s tag match)
After the match, we see William Regal talking to Hornswoggle about joining the Kiss My Ass Club. It was cut off due to technical gerror. 8.5/10 (for a lulzy technical gerror)
Coming back from the break, Shawn Michaels comes out to vent his frustrations about not winning the Royal Rumble this year and last year as well as not beating John Cena at WrestleMania last year. Chris Jericho comes out, interrupting HBK, to say that he’s going to win the Elimination Chamber match at No Way Out. Then Jeff Hardy comes out to interrupt Y2J, with much applause. He congradulates HBK and Y2J for trying to headline WrestleMania again, but he says that he’ll do whatever it takes to make it. JBL then comes out to much booing. He then does a very Ted DiBiasie-esque promo about how he’s gonna win with Umaga’s help, which is quite interesting. Umaga comes out and then Snitsky comes out, to which the audience chants “Brush your teeth”. Snitsky talks about how he hasn’t had a chance at the title and HBK interrupts him saying that he deserves nothing but a good dental hygenist, which starts an all-out punch-out in the ring. Regal comes out to say that all 6 of them will face off in a tag match tonight. 7.5/10 (for a pretty darn cool promo)
After commercial, Mr. Kennedy goes up against Super Crazy. This match was pretty much Kennedy pwning Super Crazy. Mr. Kennedy wins with an inverted figure-four leglock. He gets on the mic to show MVP Vs Ric Flair, where MVP does some heavy-duty damage to Flair’s leg. Kennedy then gives Naitch the opportunity to come out on next week’s Raw to forfeit their match at No Way Out. 6/10 (for a lame squash match that was saved by a decent after-match promo)
After break, we see Mike Adamle going over the Elimination Chamber match at No Way Out followed by a video of its history. 5.5/10 (for a short but sweet video of the Elimination Chamber)
Then, Santino Marella and Carlito face Brian Kendrik and Paul London. Carlito Backstabbed Kendrik for the win. 4/10 (for a very short match)
After the match, we see Vince getting his ass buffed with a hand buffer (I’m not kidding). 5/10 (for a funny but overdone bit)
Back again from commercial, Vince comes out to have Hornswoggle kiss his ass, explaining that it’s out of tough love. He then says that the parents out there are terrible. He asks all the kids to stand up and says that there all spoiled brats. Hornswoggle comes out after Vince tells him to. Vince says some classic parentisms (”this is gonna hurt me more than it’s gonna hurt you”, “you brought this on yourself”, etc) and tells Hornswoggle to kiss his ass. Hornswoggle hesitates for a while and then Findley comes out to defend Hornswoggle, which greatly irritates Vince and says that he can kiss his ass too. After some more hesitation, Hornswoggle bites Vince’s ass. Findley and Hornswoggle do a funny little jig and leave. Vince then says that he’s going to face Hornswoggle in a No-DQ match next week and says that if Findley interferes, then he’s fired. 7.5/10 (for a very funny bit, especially Findley and Hornswoggle’s little jig)
After the break, Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes face off against Lance Cade and Trevor Murdock in a non-title tag match. I missed this match so I won’t give it a score. NA/10 (because I didn’t watch the match)
Back from the break, the main event starts off with Jeff Hardy, Shawn Michaels, and Chris Jericho squaring off against Snitsky, JBL, and Umaga. After a commercial break, the match begins. When Snitsky gets in the ring, the audience chants “Brush your teeth”, which is too-too funny. Jericho, Hardy, and Michaels did their over-the-top rope jump onto Snitsky, JBL, and Umaga at the same time. It was friggin’ rad!! The commercial breaks ends with Jericho falling down for no apparent reason, until the replay shows that JBL punching Jericho is what knocked him down. Hardy gets the win with a Swanton Bomb on Snitsky. This match was awesome!! 8.5/10 (for an excellent main-event match)
After the break, John Cena faces Mark Henry in an arm wrestling match. Henry wins by cheating and Orton tries to RKO Cena, but fails. Cena then FUs Henry. 5/10 (for a so-so match with an awesome FU on Henry)
Tonight’s Raw had some improvements, but they really need to stop doing these short-ass matches. Overall, I give this week’s Raw a 6/10.
I notice that I slowed down my slog, err, podcast a bit this time around. Also, my crappy audio editing skills aren’t quite as bad as they were before.
For those of you who weren’t around when I did my first Raw Score, I basically do a review of the previous night’s WWE Raw, broken down by each segment. I then give each segment a score out of a possible 10 points and then average out the scores to form the overall score for that episode of Raw.
Yeah, I really didn’t know much about SEO in those days. Oh well…